When I got back from Africa last summer, I felt utterly and completely useless here in the States. It was hard for me to justify staying here in my comfortable house with A/C, shower, plenty of food, and surrounded by people who had everything they needed yet still weren't happy. I was extremely unhappy and felt like God couldn't possibly want me to live in this country a second longer! I prayerfully considered dropping out of school and moving away but didn't obviously. God gave me purpose in pharmacy school and showed me that He can use that degree in me in far greater ways than I could ever imagine. So I am here for at least 2 more years. But something he has been showing me lately is that I can have just as much purpose here as I would have in Africa. I have been praying for just that...as school was starting to wrap up for me in May I began to pray for my summer...I wanted God to have complete control. He knows me better than everyone and I only want what He has planned for me as it would be better than anything I could even imagine!! So, I surrendered it to Him...this is what has happened so far....
I'm going to New Zealand!! I got some refund checks from my loans from tuition and it worked out for me to get a plane ticket! It is a gift from God...I have a dear friend whom I get to visit and stay with the entire time and God has really led me to go over there...I have this overwhelming desire at times to go!!
I had a job lined up in Dalton...I knew I was going to be taking a month off to travel to NZ and so I got a job that was willing to take me a couple of weeks before my adventures and for a month afterwards. It worked out great...UNTIL I found out a 8 days before I was supposed to start that I didn't have that job anymore!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
I got a job instead at Walgreens..which I thought I would hate. It turns out that I love it! My old job did nothing to challenge me. At Walgreens, I deal with a lot of angry and impatient people and I deal with high stress as we are forever busy! I got so busy on Monday that I forgot to take a lunch break! I know.....me forget a lunch break? That never happens! It has been such a challenge and the Lord has been teaching me how to really submit to others...and treat them better than myself. He is teaching me how much I DON'T do that!! My attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 2:5) I never dealt with these kinds of patients at Frank's and this whole experience has been eye-opening in how much more I still need to learn about relationships....
Lastly, what was I was to do with the rest of the 128 hours in a week? I get about 6 hours of sleep every night so that leaves 86 hours for me to do something! I listened to a cd that my friend Jenny gave to me about viewing my singleness as a gift and doing everything possible to be completely devoted to God in this time of my life. I was fired up and wanted to go out and serve! I called a soup kitchen without clear direction from the Lord and didn't get anywhere there. I love love love old people so I prayed about going to a nursing home and picking an old person up and visiting them weekly. That night, I was going through some old journals from 2 years ago as I sometimes do and I found a page that I had written about my grand
mother and how I wish I could go by there and minister to her...she is very lonely. Right then and there God said she is your ministry!!! haha! I was pleased and very at peace....
I have been to see my grandmother twice and have had a great time both times! And guess what?!?! God totally confirmed that right here in Dalton is where I am supposed to be! He used to send me butterflies..yes, I know it sounds stupid but everytime I needed a pat on the back or when I was outside praying to Him, I would see a yellow butterfly...it became our "thing". He really proved Himself to me through them as silly as that might sound...so anyways, this week I have seen a lot of red birds flying around. They are beautiful....cardinals. I have seen more than I usually do and was wondering if they were to become mine and God's "new thing." I was laughing about it really. Well tonight, as me and my grandmother were sitting outside watching the sunset and listening to nature, a beautiful red bird flew by. Grandmother looked at it and said that they were her favorite bird. That she absolutely loved them and thought there were beautiful. I know it sounds simple and may sound like coincidence but God spoke to my heart then and there and I almost started crying as I realized that I was walking right smack in the middle of God's will. That is the greatest feeling in the whole wide world. He told me that I was right where I needed to be...amongst beautiful cardinals and my beautiful grandmother who just needs someone to talk to...
I often don't like being in Dalton...I just don't like this town that much...but knowing that God has called me here and has opened doors for me to work, grow, and learn from here quiets all the other voices that wishes I was somewhere else. I know no other peace that will satisfy me like the one that He gives when I find my purpose in Him. Yes, we can try our whole lives for other things to satisfy but it will never do. Why settle for anything less than what He wants to offer? We often think we could pick out for ourselves what would make us happy and ignoring what God may have planned. Of course He knows better! He created us and knows us better than we know ourselves! Faith is waking up and saying "I know what I want to accomplish and do today...but I trust that doing what You want and seeking your will is better than what I could do on my own." I think C.S. Lewis says it best"
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
I'm going to New Zealand!! I got some refund checks from my loans from tuition and it worked out for me to get a plane ticket! It is a gift from God...I have a dear friend whom I get to visit and stay with the entire time and God has really led me to go over there...I have this overwhelming desire at times to go!!
I had a job lined up in Dalton...I knew I was going to be taking a month off to travel to NZ and so I got a job that was willing to take me a couple of weeks before my adventures and for a month afterwards. It worked out great...UNTIL I found out a 8 days before I was supposed to start that I didn't have that job anymore!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
I got a job instead at Walgreens..which I thought I would hate. It turns out that I love it! My old job did nothing to challenge me. At Walgreens, I deal with a lot of angry and impatient people and I deal with high stress as we are forever busy! I got so busy on Monday that I forgot to take a lunch break! I know.....me forget a lunch break? That never happens! It has been such a challenge and the Lord has been teaching me how to really submit to others...and treat them better than myself. He is teaching me how much I DON'T do that!! My attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 2:5) I never dealt with these kinds of patients at Frank's and this whole experience has been eye-opening in how much more I still need to learn about relationships....
Lastly, what was I was to do with the rest of the 128 hours in a week? I get about 6 hours of sleep every night so that leaves 86 hours for me to do something! I listened to a cd that my friend Jenny gave to me about viewing my singleness as a gift and doing everything possible to be completely devoted to God in this time of my life. I was fired up and wanted to go out and serve! I called a soup kitchen without clear direction from the Lord and didn't get anywhere there. I love love love old people so I prayed about going to a nursing home and picking an old person up and visiting them weekly. That night, I was going through some old journals from 2 years ago as I sometimes do and I found a page that I had written about my grand
mother and how I wish I could go by there and minister to her...she is very lonely. Right then and there God said she is your ministry!!! haha! I was pleased and very at peace....I have been to see my grandmother twice and have had a great time both times! And guess what?!?! God totally confirmed that right here in Dalton is where I am supposed to be! He used to send me butterflies..yes, I know it sounds stupid but everytime I needed a pat on the back or when I was outside praying to Him, I would see a yellow butterfly...it became our "thing". He really proved Himself to me through them as silly as that might sound...so anyways, this week I have seen a lot of red birds flying around. They are beautiful....cardinals. I have seen more than I usually do and was wondering if they were to become mine and God's "new thing." I was laughing about it really. Well tonight, as me and my grandmother were sitting outside watching the sunset and listening to nature, a beautiful red bird flew by. Grandmother looked at it and said that they were her favorite bird. That she absolutely loved them and thought there were beautiful. I know it sounds simple and may sound like coincidence but God spoke to my heart then and there and I almost started crying as I realized that I was walking right smack in the middle of God's will. That is the greatest feeling in the whole wide world. He told me that I was right where I needed to be...amongst beautiful cardinals and my beautiful grandmother who just needs someone to talk to...
I often don't like being in Dalton...I just don't like this town that much...but knowing that God has called me here and has opened doors for me to work, grow, and learn from here quiets all the other voices that wishes I was somewhere else. I know no other peace that will satisfy me like the one that He gives when I find my purpose in Him. Yes, we can try our whole lives for other things to satisfy but it will never do. Why settle for anything less than what He wants to offer? We often think we could pick out for ourselves what would make us happy and ignoring what God may have planned. Of course He knows better! He created us and knows us better than we know ourselves! Faith is waking up and saying "I know what I want to accomplish and do today...but I trust that doing what You want and seeking your will is better than what I could do on my own." I think C.S. Lewis says it best"
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
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