Eye Sensing....

The word VISION has many different meanings. The Lord sends these to His people to direct their steps...but He can do so in many different ways. It could be a simple dream placed in a young boys mind when he is 7 and lives that dream for his whole life. It could be a dream that you have that fortels your future metaphorically. It could be an actual vision...the kind that Peter has..detailed in Acts. For me, the way the Lord speaks to me and reveals Himself to me has really evolved. Thus, the word VISION has evolved as well. One meaning, which in my opinion can encompass all says "the act or power of sensing with the eyes." It could be your physical eyes or the eyes of your heart. I just want to share what the Lord has done with me and how I have 'sensed' Him with the eyes of my heart....

-->Definition #1: "an experience in which a personage, thing, or event appears vividly or credibly to the mind, although not actually present, often under the influence of a divine or other agency"
When I was in Africa last summer, there were 3 nights in which I woke up in the middle of the night to a bright orange ball shining in my window. The first time, I thought it was the moon and that it was blazing so bright and was just beautiful. I rolled back over and went back to sleep. The next time was a week later and this time I felt like I should get up and look at it. I was too lazy and went back to sleep. But I had trouble believing that it was real and thought it was just a real vivid dream. I prayed for it to come back. That night I payed attention to where the moon sat in the sky...it was in the OPPOSITE window. So of course I was freaked out because I had been seeing this big orange blazing ball that turned out NOT to be the moon. Well, a week later it came back...I couldn't pull myself out of my sleeping bag though...it disappeared after that and I completely forgot about it....until about 6 months later...

-->Definition #2: "the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be"
The second definition came to surface when I had felt a call to missions. I was really struggling with it because I didn't want to give up a future in the states yet. But I felt the Lord say GO. I was praying for confirmation, for something, and I had a desire to talk to my friend Neeley, who had given up her life to missions already. I went to the small group at my church and they were talking about...yep you guessed it, dreams and visions. Specifically dreams that the Lord places in our hearts that He intends to fulfill. I was so on fire and just wanted to talk about missions!! I came home and I had an email from Neeley with her phone number in it....haha...clear enough for me! I called and felt so much better after talking to her! Well, that very night I prayed for a dream, visions, something. This is what I got. I had a dream in which I was arguing with some of my friends. I was being mean, nasty and just plain awful to them. I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth. Well, that wasn't what I wanted! I was disappointed and confused...then, God whispered..."How can you love those I want to send you to serve if you can't even love those around you now?" Needless to say, I was completely humbled and realized that I had a lot of growing to do...so I started loving! You can read my blog below about love to see how I have changed....it was a hard road but that is a whole other subject! So back to this circle of events. I started to change and started to love...this was Christmas break by this point. So again, I prayed. One day, I decided to fast from tv and just read and pray with my day off and God really showed up!! So, the next part of this story is pretty amazing! I was laying in bed praying for my future, for my vision that I so desperately wanted. I felt more ready to receive it now after getting that huge log out of my eye. (Luke 6:42) I had been reading in my Africa journal and was reminded of the big orange ball I had seen. One thing I had put in there was to find out what it was for...why even woke up to see it and if it was even real. As I was praying, I felt like I should get on my knees...feeling kinda silly but I did it anyway. I looked up and there was (no lie) an orange glow shining on my wall. haha I was freaked out. I got up ever so cautiously to see what it was...it was a glow from my ipod player. haha...I got back in bed cursing myself...feeling stupid. I then looked out my window and low and behold, there was an eerie orange glow coming from the next house. I was like ahhhhhhh....fine God! So I got back on my knees...at that moment a verse popped to my head. It didn't really make sense when I read it right away. I then immediately looked over to the next page and guess what I saw...two verses underlined in orange!! I was flabbergasted...mind you, I was still on the floor and was just ecstatic. You can picture....make up your own 'vision' in your head if you will. As soon as I read the verse, the Lord whispered like He always does, "This is to be your VISION." Here is what it said(notice it is in orange)....

Then Jesus declared, " I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35
I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life." 6:47

Pretty cool huh? The Lord said that I am to bring this bread to people...for the rest of my life. That is my mission, my vision, my dream for life. I couldn't be happier...

-->Definition #3: "vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation"
Now, the first two visions have come full circle with the fulfillment of this last definition. I have been sitting on what God has been teaching me since last semester. Earlier this spring, I was running and listening to my ipod. A vivid image entered my head and I just kept expanding on it. I was just daydreaming actually but it turned into this elaborate 'imaginative conception' just like the definition says. It relates to the whole ideal of missions that God is planting into me. Here it is....
I see Jesus on the top of a hill. I just know its Him. He is holding a bouquet of flowers. I just somehow know they are for me(I love flowers BTW). It turns out that we are in the desert and my mission is to reach Him so I can get those flowers. So I start climbing. I keep Him in view. But I fall, crawl and stumble. I get frustrated. I turn around and start walking back down. But I really want those flowers. I start again. I lose sight of Him. Do I still keep going even when I don't see Him? Is this faith? I keep going, sweating, struggling, and completely exhausted. I finally reach the top of the hill, exhausted and fallen down before Him. He takes His hand and lifts me up. I take the flowers but He then turns me around to see the view and man....it is breathtaking. There are acres and acres and miles upon miles of flowers. It is a vision to behold. I am just ecstatic. I am on a 'spiritual high'. I am happy and for the first time I am at peace. I come for the peace, and for the flowers if you will, but I soon start to get to know the man that is holding the flowers and I fall in love. I am so happy! But it doesn't end there in utopia as one might like. Jesus looks at me and says there is more I have planned for you. More? Then this? haha I am overjoyed! I say "okay! Show me!" He ever so gently takes my same hand that He used to lift me up to my feet to spin me around and to look back down the hill where I had just climbed. I see darkness. I see people struggling. The same struggle I had to go through to meet my Jesus. People are blind and can't see their way. People have turned around and are walking back down the hill. People have fallen and are on their knees. People are in pain. People are searching but don't even know what Jesus is offering. I cringe as I look. I don't have that peace anymore. I hear Jesus say "Go." No, Lord. haha, I mean you must be kidding. I am happy here, with my wildflowers. So I struggle. But I know deep down that these flowers up here won't mean near as much if I don't have anyone else around me to enjoy them too. They go on for miles and miles....they are meant for people to enjoy too...not just me. So I go. Maybe you don't understand why...why anyone would leave that utopia. I think CT Studd says it best...
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell."
Summary: orange ball points to bread of life...give people the bread of life....bread of life goes to those people who have not received the gift Jesus offers....where are these people at? Where do I deliver this bread? I guess I will wait until the next vision...and look for a new definition...stay tuned. :)