"The combined features or traits that make up a person." This is the dictionary definition of character. But I believe the meaning of our 'character' is much much deeper than that. Our character determines our inner thoughts and actions. Are we authentic? Does what we do in the world reflect what is going on in the inside? God knows our hearts, our motives, our desires....and He knows if they match up or not. As we grow closer in our walk with the Lord, some temptations that our Enemy may have used to make us stray are seen less and less. Instead, he works in more crafty ways. One way is by attacking our character, our integrity, our uprightness. How can we apply the verse in Psalm 25:21 to our lives if our character is not developed? As God refines us, don't be surprised if He starts to mold your character!
This is what I have been learning the last few months. I haven't written about it because honestly I didn't know what He was up to. I was frustrated, mad and felt like a failure because I wasn't hearing from Him as normal. I felt as thought He had taken His favor away and I was shattered. David describes it well, "When I felt secure, I said 'I will never be shaken.' Oh Lord, when you favored me, You made my mountains stand firm. But when you hid your face I was dismayed." What happens when God hides his face and it seems as though He has taken away His favor? Are we still apt to cry out to Him? Well, I get frustrated. I have been in this dry season. I feel as though I am just sitting around waiting on God to move in several areas of my life. And I hear Him ever so lightly whisper that He is building my character. He doesn't just want me to walk through life with Him, with rainbows and butterflies to guide me. Sure, He used those happy colors and pure goodness to draw me to Him. But now that He's got my attention He is begging me to continue to follow Him...to come up higher with Him. To follow Him not because of the blessings He can shower on me but because of my faith in Him. Do I have faith to trust Him when he doesn't give me what I want? Oh, that I could learn to pray in the dark. You see, I am convinced that He wants more than just a faithful walk with us here on earth. No, He wants us to receive rewards in heaven. He wants us to receive glorious crowns. He wants all of us...the inner and outer parts.
Yes, Lord. When you have hidden from me, and have removed your presence, let me not grow weary but let my character build up. Let me trust you when I am surrounded by doubt, confusion and darkness. Let me come to the place where my character, my integrity and my uprightness can protect me as I put my hope in you.
Let us pray in the dark.
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