Our days are but fleeting...

If you could love me as a wife...
And for my wedding get your life...
Should that be all I'll ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

And I should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich and wise
Is that really what you want?

I am a whore I do confess...
I put you on just like a wedding dress
run down the isle, run down the isle...

Well, I am a prodigal with no way home
Put you on just like a ring of gold
and run down the isle, run down the isle...
to You....

Could you love this bastard child
No, I don't trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and the other in Your side...

Because I am so easily satisfied
by the call of a lover so less wild
that I would take a little cash
Over Your very flesh and blood

Cause I am a whore I do confess
I put you on just like a wedding dress
and run down the isle, run down the isle...

I'm a prodigal with no way home
Put you on just like a ring of gold
and run down the isle, run down the isle
to You...

because money can not buy
a husbands jealous eye
when you have knowingly deceived his wife.

-DEREK WEBB "WEDDING DRESS"

This is a song by Derek Webb...describing what I think is the plight of humanity. It's about dealing with sin...but worse than that is how we return to sin again and again even after coming into the presence of our Savior, the man who saved us from our sin. And the worse thing is that we have to face Him over and over again after sinning, repenting, sinning, repenting. How awful is our human condition. But more awful than that is the fact that Our Lord has to put up with it. I find myself relating to the adultress that is Gomer found in Hosea. Gomer was a whore. Takes money in return for sexual favors. Hosea, under the direction of God married her anyway. The Lord wanted to prove a single point in this story...that He will return to the fornicating land of Israel time and time again. Hosea 3:1 says "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes."

As I walk down the journey of life, I have come face to face with my faults, my shortcoming, my weaknesses, my sin. I see my adulteress spirit and see it wandering far from God and back to Him again. I can't do it on my own I find. So what do I do? I ask for forgivienss and immediately slip back on the wedding band, and the dress that God clothed me in as He called me His own. When it pleases me, I just slip off the band and dress, and the risk involved with following an unseen God. I revert to my old ways. I get unhappy and then decide to put back on the cloak of hope that is Jesus Christ. Just like song says, I act as a whore, a modern-day Gomer to my Lord, my bridgegroom, my Savior.

Oh, but He is there to recieve me at the end of the isle time and time again. I feel sorry for the Spirit that has to grieve everytime I depart from Him. I am the prodigal son who goes and squanders his money on wild living only to be received with open arms by His good, loving, faithful Father. I don't like being in the position of the prodigal son. Although, it is nice to know that I do have a Savior it sucks to realize that this is how it will be until we get to Heaven. Our only hope is in heaven and we must wait for the Ultimate wedding between Jesus and His Church. How I long to be reconciled to Him now. To drink of the living water...to not be satisfied by eathly things...I can be so easily tempted by things of the World but have found only true satisfaction, fulfillment and joy in putting to death the misdeeds of the Flesh, of the World, and living by the Spirit who testifies to God's will in my life. If I find fulfillment in living a life Holy and pleasing to God, then why do I still choose to daily live a life that may not be Holy, but full of colors like scarlet, crimson and anything that is white and pure? Like Derek says, I am easily satisfied by a lover far less wild...I would rather take a little cash for His very flesh and blood. It doesn't have to be cash; it could be some superficial comfort, clothes, food, alcohol, holding onto bitterness, ect in return for getting what you think you want. Derek leaves the song only talking about how things are left here on earth...with us whoring around. But what if we could finish it? It may sound like this...

So much to do, so much to prepare
to walk back down the isle, if I dare
I must find my way back to You
Whatever it takes, my works will do

What happened My Lord, my groom? My works won't do!
I still find myself using You,
I am broken to pieces, realizing that I am nothing
I can do absolutely nothing for my King.

However, there is a Hope that outlasts me
It shines past my sin and lets me be
I can carry on with this Hope from day to day
no matter what I ever do, think, or say.

Where can you find this Hope after the fall?
It is not seen because Hope seen is no Hope at all
Instead it lies in our patience and faith
being built upon by the Keeper of the Gates

"Don't grow weary! For at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don't give up! "
-Galations 6:9

Don't give up on yourself.....God will gladly marry us 77 times 7 times and I assure you He will make a brand new beautiful wedding dress each and every time with a new beautiful sparkling wedding band. It's not about how much we decide to come back to Him and how good we are for repenting and seeking to live a better life for God. No, afraid not...it has nothing to do with us. You see, God will let us see our sin again and again and again and will let us walk back down the isle to Him again and again and again to show US how much HE loves us. We can try all we want to be justified by our works and by our actions here on the earth. But no matter how good they make us feel about ourselves, that doesn't defeat the Truth...the fact that Jesus had to come to earth to die for us. Don't you think before Jesus came to earth that there were good people? People who did the right thing, went to church every Sunday, tithed 10%, and fed the poor? Jesus had to come anyway because we can't save ourselves. Rather He came to save us FROM ourselves. Here I am Lord...running back down the isle to You....